When I first traveled in Malaysia, my Western eyes had never seen an Asian country. So when I encountered curious stares and pointed fingers, businesses and buildings jumbled together without much apparent city planning, traffic that can only be described as insane (and I've driven in DC), and the lady on the crammed bus standing so close to me that she's practically on my lap and thinking nothing of it, it was all new and exciting. And I really, really noticed the difference between normal in Bend, OR and normal in Penang, Malaysia. This is my second time in Asia, and much of that initial shock and awe has worn off. Living in Nanning feels a lot like living in Penang, only without the calls to prayer five times a day or the marketplaces crowded with women in colorful hijab. (I should point out, however, that women in both places wear some fabulous shoes.) In some respects the familiarity makes the transition to a new community easier, and in others it's actually harder because the wonder is gone. This time, when I see a street filled with Mandarin-only shop signs, I'm not captivated. I'm irritated that I don't know where to go to get what I want. The decaying buildings with rows and rows of clothes drying on balconies that once looked kind of charming now just look kind of ghetto.
But on the upside, this time I'm more comfortable walking across a six lane street, stopping in between streams of traffic and stepping out when I'm reasonably sure that the e-bike has time to stop.The smell of the wet market when I walk though isn't as accosting as it once seemed. I even smelled a durian stand without much repulsion at all. And thank God for the dictionary/character reader on my iPod!
And beyond the strange-yet-familiar frenzy, I've decided I really enjoy the Chinese. When people aren't nudging their friends as they walk by and whispering "Meiguoren," they are very friendly and helpful. The students that I taught at the English camp in W-city were some of the most focused and respectful kids I've ever met. And though the campus that I'm living on will be nearly empty until late August, I've had enough invitations to dinner that I haven't spent too many days and evenings cooped up alone in an empty house. It would be completely daunting to try and find food to eat without the ayi that has stayed on to shop and cook five days a week for me, in the home where I'm staying, for the equivalent of $50 USD per month. And there are wonderful people in my network who are willing to translate for me over the phone when needed and show me where the grocery stores with refrigerated meat are.
This time in Asia, however, I do feel that I'm on my own to a much greater degree. I'm thankful for all the resources I have ready should I ever need them, but at the end of the day, I'm not accustomed to going home to an empty house. Through it all, though, I have a sense that I'm in the right place doing the right thing. When I'm mindful to put first things first, I feel cheerful about my life here. I'm thankful that strength is found in my weakness, because I can't think of many other times when I've felt so unequal to my task. I have to believe that jumping into murky, choppy, and unfamiliar waters will allow for results beyond what I have the power to produce if I were wading in the safe and routine. Here's to the treasures that wait in the uncharted deep!
But on the upside, this time I'm more comfortable walking across a six lane street, stopping in between streams of traffic and stepping out when I'm reasonably sure that the e-bike has time to stop.The smell of the wet market when I walk though isn't as accosting as it once seemed. I even smelled a durian stand without much repulsion at all. And thank God for the dictionary/character reader on my iPod!
And beyond the strange-yet-familiar frenzy, I've decided I really enjoy the Chinese. When people aren't nudging their friends as they walk by and whispering "Meiguoren," they are very friendly and helpful. The students that I taught at the English camp in W-city were some of the most focused and respectful kids I've ever met. And though the campus that I'm living on will be nearly empty until late August, I've had enough invitations to dinner that I haven't spent too many days and evenings cooped up alone in an empty house. It would be completely daunting to try and find food to eat without the ayi that has stayed on to shop and cook five days a week for me, in the home where I'm staying, for the equivalent of $50 USD per month. And there are wonderful people in my network who are willing to translate for me over the phone when needed and show me where the grocery stores with refrigerated meat are.
This time in Asia, however, I do feel that I'm on my own to a much greater degree. I'm thankful for all the resources I have ready should I ever need them, but at the end of the day, I'm not accustomed to going home to an empty house. Through it all, though, I have a sense that I'm in the right place doing the right thing. When I'm mindful to put first things first, I feel cheerful about my life here. I'm thankful that strength is found in my weakness, because I can't think of many other times when I've felt so unequal to my task. I have to believe that jumping into murky, choppy, and unfamiliar waters will allow for results beyond what I have the power to produce if I were wading in the safe and routine. Here's to the treasures that wait in the uncharted deep!
Hahaha Yes! I grew up and learned to drive in DC, but I wouldn't even want to attempt driving in China!!! Glad to hear everyone is inviting you to eat... very Chinese of them ;) hehe to them it's a tragedy to eat by yourself! Sometimes I'd eat by myself just because I'd want to and it horrified them!!
ReplyDeleteKira!! What a great post! I felt a lot of these things when I first moved to Japan...it's my first time living on my own and I'm not used to being in a place where I know no one, can't read the signs and don't know where to go to buy things, and for the first time, I really felt like I was on my own. It's so daunting. But also, like you said, a really great challenge and I also feel like I've done the right thing by coming here. Thanks for articulating this!
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